why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
