i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
