Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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