as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
