I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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