I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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