I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
