Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
