You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
