it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
