Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Congratulations! We have a period
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
