the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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