dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
