rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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