she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
