direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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