Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
