She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
