The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
