I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize