ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
