I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
