our cab driver is having phone sex.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
