your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
