did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
