I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
