508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's shark week go big or go home
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
