And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize