I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
