Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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