why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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