yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize