Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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