Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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