who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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