I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
