i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize