Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
