Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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