Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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