Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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