You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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