Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
