I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
