I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
