it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
