I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
