There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
