i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
