the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize