Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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