After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
