I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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