suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
