She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize