He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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