i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
