Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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