she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Pants are for mortals
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
