i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize