I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
