...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
