I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
