apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
