he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
