I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
