who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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