I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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