All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
