So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize