what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
