yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize