i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
