1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
